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A Few Final Thoughts

by Matanah

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1.
Final Recall 02:44
You humiliated me and now you don't want me to leave I'm out of things to say and I've done all I care to do I don't have time or energy anymore to help you Get off my back Don't fuc*ing say that I'm not coming back I was not dressed for the storm But I found somewhere out there a fire to keep me warm I found a tugboat to take me far away and now that I'm gone you say you wanted me to stay Get off my back Don't fuc*ing say that I'm not coming back You humiliated me and now you don't want me to leave I'm out of things to say and I've done all I care to do I don't have time or energy anymore to help you
2.
Dice 02:01
I didn't know that you didn't know that I didn't know we were on I didn't know that you didn't know that I didn't stand a fuc*ing chance against those odds and so we roll the dice I don't want to play anymore so I am gonna go home with my cards you can play unfair with somebody else's odds I didn't know that you didn't know that I didn't know we were on I didn't know that you didn't know that I didn't stand a fuc*ing chance against those odds and so we roll the dice I don't want to play anymore so I am gonna go home with my cards you can play unfair with somebody else's odds
3.
Lexipro 01:58
Sorry I get sad sometimes and forget that I want to be alive for a long time I could cry for hours while my ribs fall out I could die a thousand times and still find my way through a birth canal sorry I get sad sometimes and forget that I want to be alive for a long time Baby I want to watch that stress slide off you back like water off a ducks feathers. I want it to be so obvious that that anxiety doesn't effect you in the slightest that I can see the sparkling beads of stress billowing out the garage door and into the driveway off your beautiful beautiful smile I could cry for hours while my ribs fall out I could die a thousand times and still find my way through a birth canal Sorry I get sad sometimes and forget that I want to be alive for a long time
4.
Cortisol 03:11
You're so sad and angry and we can't find a way to reconcile the off chance everyone who took a shot at you was somehow in command I used to sing about mountains I used to sing about those who made me I used to sing about bound wings I used to pray that someone would rescue me I used to sing about young love I used to sing about those who hurt me I used to sing about my woes I used to pray that someone would rescue me Cortisol/adrenaline are rushing and never ending and I can never sleep until I find another way to binge. I got to peak through a crack in my heart where I saw someone sleeping and bleeding out Under ordinary circumstances I've never had a reliable standard If you're looking for something unpredictable I can hook you up I was born and I hit the ground running and I never stopped hunting for something I been hungry for something that's strong so I've been building my body up so I can eat what I have got on my bones when it gets cold Cortisol/adrenaline are rushing and never ending and I can never sleep until I find another way to binge. I got to peak through a crack in my heart where I saw someone sleeping and bleeding out You're so sad and angry and we can't find a way to reconcile the off chance everyone who took a shot at you was somehow in command
5.
Call 02:37
I think there's no more there but you think there's more there like this we could have made something last for some more time you say that you don't understand why it had to end after a bad time figure it out you're not on your own I will not be bullied and told to come home I think there's no more there but you think there's more there like this we could have made something last for some more time you say that you don't understand why it had to end after a bad time figure it out you're not on your own I will not be bullied and told to come home
6.
Precedented 03:36
I've never been one not to go out on a limb I've never been one to play it safe when I could be on the frontlines learning from mistakes I can imagine how it must be very hard to lose the first time someone that you love but honey it's not the first time I've crawled through the mud I've never been one not to go out on a limb I've never been one to play it safe when I could be on the frontlines learning from mistakes I cannot give you any answers to your woes you think that sharing your side of the story will bring me/you closer to saying I'm sorry I've got nothing more to say and nothing more to do I don't know how to give you a clearer clue no more tears to shed and no more fists to clench I told you it's time for me to sit on the bench nothing more to say and nothing more to do I don't know how to give you a clearer clue

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released November 10, 2021

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Matanah Birmingham, Alabama

I use my music to tell autobiographical stories about intimacy, heartbreak, damaging memories and hope. Many of my songs use fairy tales and allegory to transport us and activate our imaginations. Heavily influenced by shape note singing and the Appalachian mountain music I grew up with, I craft harmonies and rounds that are infectious and fun to sing for me and often stick in the heads of others. ... more

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